Overall, not a very productive reading year... To read more books is definitely another goal to add to my very small New Year's list. ;)

Current Mood: blank

At the moment, I am absolutely scared shitless.

A few days ago, I discovered a lump under my skin; near the inside of my leg down below.

It's getting bigger, and it's really sore when I walk and when pressure is applied to it.

My parents and closest friends know about this (one of my friends is actually a qualified nurse) and have all advised me to go to the doctors to get it checked out.

I really can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now.  I mean, I know that I should be thankful that I have my health, but at the same time, I found a lump and I'm terrified.  I haven't posted on TORC in days but my friends have been really great in trying to keep my mind off of things, although perhaps alcohol isn't quite the best solution for trying to forget.

I'm going to make an appointment for the doctor's tomorrow, and I have asked my friend Amanda to come with me for support.  I'm really, really lucky to have her, and the rest of the crazy loonies who I met at college!  I know that everything will eventually work out all right in the end, but at the same time: I just don't want to have to go there tomorrow to find out that it's something really simple, or if I need to get some tests done.

They say that finding a lump is every woman's worst nightmare, and I really admire those women who seem to deal with it so calmly when I feel like I am being torn apart inside. 

I'll keep everyone posted.

Current Mood: scared

At the end of tonight's shift at work, I was cleaning out some drawers that were getting thrown out because of the refit, and made an awesome discovery - Christmas hats and tinsel!

So I shouted my male mother over, and we decided to have some fun as we haven't actually got any family photos yet!

Here is a link to them here:

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007205&l=c4871&id=1093411543

Here is a link to some random photos that we took in college today, bored in Sociology!

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007184&l=85abc&id=1093411543

And here is a link to some pictures of my piercings/tattoos. ;)

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007142&l=a410f&id=1093411543

Current Mood: crazy

Movie Meme
(Stolen from trazzie because I was bored)

Basically, you need to guess what movies these quotes are from. :)

The Rules:
1. Pick 10-20 your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions. 

1.  "If love was a choice, who would choose such exquisite pain?"

2.  "Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?
"Don't know!
"It lets you know you're not dead yet!"

3.  "I would rather be a ghost, drifting by your side as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without you...  Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit"
     Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - hitharien

4.  "My flattery makes you uncomfortable?  Because compliments in your family are usually for someone else.  The elder sister..."
     The Other Boleyn Girl - hitharien

5.  "Can't you see?  Every step I have taken, since I was that child on the bridge, has been to bring myself closer to you."
     Memoirs of a Geisha - mithluin 

6.  "But from now on, nobody will call me Empress anymore.  Instead they will call me, Her Majesty, the Emperor."

7.  "They say that the history of the west was written from the saddle of a horse, but it's never been told from the heart of one.  Not till now."
      Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron - hitharien

 8.  "Haku, I will forgive you for stealing my precious seal, but in return, you must take care of this girl."

9.  "So this is your opinion of me.  Thank you for explaining so fully.  Perhaps these offences might have be overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty in admitting scruples about our relationship.  Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?"
     Pride and Prejudice - truehobbit

 10.  "Stay where you belong: in my memories.
        "I will...  Never be a memory."

11.  "It's been a pleasure meeting you; even if you are my least favourite vegetable!  Take care, Turnip-head!"

12.  "I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else."

Good luck. :)

Movies number 3 and 6 are originally dubbed in Mandarin Chinese.  This is the English translation.
Movies number 7, 8, 10 and 11 are animated.

Current Mood: lazy

Yesterday, I decided to pay a long, overdue visit to the piercing studio and indulge in another piercing. *g*

This time, however, I decided to go for something a little different: the dermal anchor.

A guy in work (who I look upon as my second, although gay mother) got one in his wrist the day before, and I loved it so much that I met up with him and his partner the next day to get one done myself. :)

They are probably the newest piercings on the block; they've only been about for a year, and can be quite complex.  You can get one almost anywhere, but the positioning is vital, although it changes from person to person depending on their anatomy.  

This is a link to the jewellery: http://www.painfulpleasures.com/body_jewelry/gallery/Dermal_anchors/dermal_14g_stem_Ver1-a.jpg 

The long, holey bit you can see is what actually sits under your skin, and the part that sits on your skin screws onto the end.

Although the whole thing only lasts about 5 minutes, it seems a lot longer.  It's slightly sorer than a piercing, as the process is drawn out, but not quite as sore as a tattoo.  First of all, once the positioning has been decided (I decided to have mine sitting on my collarbone) a needle is inserted, to create a little pocket under your skin, which doesn't hurt at all.  Then scissors are used to hold the jewellery whilst it is placed under your skin, which DOES hurt as the whole contraption has to be slid into your body through the tiny hole!  Pressure is then applied whilst the piercing settles in, and usually there is quite a lot of blood involved, although I am the first person for which that did not happen. :D

Here is the step-by-step procedure in pictures: http://tattoo.about.com/od/piercingsgeneralinfo/ss/dermalanchors.htm

The finished article: http://s23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/Telcontarian/?action=view&current=DSC00027.jpg

The piercing itself is semi-permanent.  You can change the disc which sits on your skin, but the bit under the skin itself cannot be removed.  It cost £45 to get pierced, but it was well worth it.  I absolutely love it, and would recommend getting it done, as long as you can put up with the pain and aftercare!  Think seriously before getting it done, though, as it is semi-permanent and go to an experienced piercer, who you trust. ;)  I am so lucky to have Paula: she has carried out 3 of my piercings: nose, tongue and dermal, and she is the only person that I would let poke me with needles.  She is amazing!

This now makes my 11th piercing.  I said that I was going to stop at 10, but they are just way too addictive. ;)

Current Mood: masochistic

instructions

1. put your music player on shuffle.
2. press forward for each question.
3. use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.

( Music player quiz )

Current Mood: bored

Well, I survived 9 days without internet!  And had a grand total of 74 emails waiting for me when I arrived back home. :P  It's good to be home, though.  Every single building in Aberdeen is grey - hence why it's called "The Stone City."  On Sunday, I'm going off to Benidorm for 10 days with my parents - exactly the same resort and apartments where my parents were for my dad's fiftieth birthday earlier this year.

I'm looking forward to it, and getting my third tattoo, but quite frankly, I would rather be in Finland.  I was meant to be going there this Summer to meet Ani and Mouse, but unfortunately, financial reasons, and my parents thinking that I was too young put an end to that.

But now, I've been offered a job, and am due to start when I return from Benidorm.  So Finland 2008 is definitely on.  And then Scotland 2009 the year after. :D  I can't wait: I'm desperate to meet them both.  They're like the brother and sister I never had.

Since I came back, Sparkle and I ended our month-long separation and seen one another on her birthday...  Which was okay.  We never really spent that much time together, but it was enough to agree on the fact that we can't leave it that long again.  I'm supposed to be staying at her house on Friday, so we'll see how that goes.

Not much else to say, really: not much has been happening...  I've been told that I tend to talk about other people, instead of myself, which is sort of true: I tend to talk about other people's feelings before my own, so I guess I'm still in that habit.  I don't talk about myself much, and if I do, it's not of great relevance.  It's not like I'm that important anyway.

Current Mood: indifferent

Before my best friend jetted off to Lanzarote with her sister, we finally resolved our differences.  So now, we're the best of friends again, and our feelings have been made clear to one another.  It will take us a while to build up our friendship after what has happened, but I am glad to say that this is a step in the right direction.

Anyway, next Tuesday, I am off to Aberdeen for 7 days, to spend some time with my aunt.  I'm really looking forward to it, even though I will have no internet access whilst I am there, but I love being able to spend some time with my family.  And also to babysit her godchildren. *Evil laugh*

Then on the eighth day, we'll get the train back to Glasgow, before going to Falkirk by train to spend some time with my great aunt, who is my aunt's aunt.  I always promised her that I would go down and visit her one day, as I have never been to Falkirk before.  Knowing us, we'll probably stay up til three or four in the morning playing cards.  I guess that's where the McGregor comes through in us.  So, yeah, I'm really looking forward to both occasions.

I'm also meant to be getting my braces out on Monday - but I don't think that that is going to happen.  The gap between my front teeth has yet to close up, and my cross-bite still hasn't been fixed.  Even though I moaned to my friend about it - who asked if I really needed them fixed - I think that I should have the right to perfect teeth because of all the pain I have had to go through to get them.  Up to the present day, I have had fourteen teeth out, and those braces which you can take in and out even though they didn't work.  My dental history has been really extreme, and for once in my life I am glad that I live under a country where NHS is available.

Um, so there's really not much point in this post - but it is really good to get some of the news off my chest.  So, you'll know why I won't be around next week. :)

Tari

Current Mood: cheerful

My dearest You,

It's frightening to think how much has changed since you left just over a year ago.  I'm a completely different person now - I wonder sometimes if you would like the woman that I have become... 

There is so much that I wanted to say to you before you left forever...  But I guess I never got that chance.  You were gone in the blink of an eye almost.  I just wanted to let you know that I never abandoned you.  I was thinking about you in every waking second - but the thought of seeing you so helpless and sick was just too overwhelming for me.  I tried so hard to visit, but in the end, I was the one who was sick.

I did come to see you the day before the funeral.  But I guess that just put things into perspective for me.  I can't believe you actually died with a smile on your face.  Despite everything you suffered, you were still happy.  You looked so peaceful there; exactly like you were before everything happened...

I still can't actually accept the fact that you're gone.  I keep expecting to go up and visit you every single night...  But then I remember, you've moved on.  You're not there anymore.  You'll always be missed and never forgotten here, but I hope that you've found happiness again with Grandad, and with everyone who has already departed.

I love you lots and even though our time together was short, I'll always look back on it with fond memories. 

You changed my life in so many ways.  Thank you.

Until we meet again,

Lynsey.

Current Mood: sad

I HATE Vivalakitty's LJ.

Not to be mean - (well, it is mean to a certain extent) but please read the rest of this post before you judge my seemingly psychotic thoughts.

Kat approached me yesterday to ask if I could customise her LJ for her.  I recently added a lovely FFX-2 Yuna Layout to my own LJ, and I have had some experience with HTML so I told her I would.

I have tried at least 10 different layouts (and Kat will confirm this herself) and none of them seem to work.  I cannot get the graphics to appear on the page.  As a final resort, I even copied and pasted the HTML that I used for my own layout and just changed my details to hers - and that didn't work either although it works perfectly on mine!!  I deleted all the custom colours, set all the fields to "Generator..."

I have even contemplated making her a new account, but I think it would be futile.  I am at my wit's end because I hate anything getting the better of me.

So, Kat's LJ: I know you hate me, and I definitely hate you, but be warned: Tari will tame you... Someday.

EDIT:  I just customised ImInDenial's LJ for her with one of the layouts that I tried to use for Kat's and it worked fine.  GAH!

Current Mood: angry

Here is a link to the aurikku picture that I drew recently over at DeviantArt: I don't draw much, hence why there are so few of my drawings.  I only seem to draw when I am really bored or depressed... '^^

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/57412304/

Current Mood: artistic

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?

Current Mood: amused

Um, hey, I'm aware I haven't added anything to my Journal in nearly two years - so I thought that it was time for a fresh start.  I got this Yuna background today and I love it - even though I'm not a huge fan of the character.  I think I have gotten a couple of things wrong because I am not very good with HTML - so if anyone spots anything, just let me know. =]  I'm not really used to writing about myself, so details about my life will probably be limited.  My life sucks anyway and I would bore you to death with all my problems.  Um, I plan to link some of my FanFiction here, so I may as well start now. =]

Here is a link to my fanfiction, "To Zanarkand" on FF.net

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3397220/1/

Current Mood: accomplished

Just joined site thanks to friend but I don't know what the heck I'm doing! How do you get all the graphics up and stuff? I'm so confuzzled, this information is overwhelming my scrawny little mind! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Run for your life!

Current Mood: and weird...